


As My Soul Loved You

by ThatOneGirlBehindYou



Series: Daemons AU [1]
Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: Alternate Universe - Daemons, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-11
Updated: 2013-03-11
Packaged: 2017-12-04 23:18:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/716206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatOneGirlBehindYou/pseuds/ThatOneGirlBehindYou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Little moments of the 74th Hunger Games as seen through Katniss´ daemon, Lykaios.<br/>Or<br/>How your soul can love before you do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	As My Soul Loved You

**Author's Note:**

> If you´re following me because of In Plain Sight, then don´t murder me, the new chapter will be on at some point next week.
> 
> So, I´ve been re-reading His Dark Materials lately, and I´ve found a new obsession in Daemon!AUs, so here´s my shot at it.

Lykaios has always been her only guardian.

If she finds it ironic that her soul´s the only one to take care of her, she doesn´t comment on it.

\--

He´s always that solid presence by her side, and in their whole lives they only ever disagree on one matter.

Peeta.

Sometimes she even thinks it´s his fault that Lykaios settled, even though he always assures that´s not the case.

It happens when she´s fairly young, after her father dies. Her mother sits at the empty hearth, and her Valerian´s feathers turn gray all of a sudden.  
Food starts going scarce, and Prim cries while Panax licks the tears from her cheeks and changes forms to entertain her.

That day outside the baker´s house, Lykaios is no more than the scrawny field mouse he´s been since the accident, cowering inside her sleeve. And then the slap and the boy at the door. His daemon remains at the window, in the shape of a hare with beady eyes and twitchy ears.

When Peeta throws the bread, Lykaios takes the form of a wolf and catches it mid-air, before bringing it back to Katniss.

After that day he uses that form more and more, except at school where she´s told it upsets the other kids. Finally, the dandelion blossom.

She feels her hope hardening into determination. Her daemon takes his wolf form at her side and licks her hand. That´s the moment, but she doesn´t notice, and he doesn´t tell her. They have bigger concerns than themselves.

She does notice, though, the day after, when she hunts her first rabbit by herself. She stares down at the pierced body, and Lykaios speaks with a calmed voice that reminds her of her father.

"You´re a wolf, Katniss."

And she is.

\--

Her mother´s daemon doesn´t speak since the accident. Not until the Reaping, at least.

The woman herself is still and pale as her youngest is led to the stage, but it´s Valerian´s screech what brings them back to reality.

They rush across the crowd yelling, _howling_ , and when they run up the stairs the wolf daemon´s fur is spiked and he´s snarling, making the cameras focus on him.

Prim screams at her back. "No, Katniss, no! You can´t go!" Panax is a kitten hissing from under Lykaios´ front legs, while the later snarls at everyone and crouches over him.

Suddenly she´s gone. Gale takes her away while his jaguar carries a defeated kitten.

Effie´s beyond herself with excitement and when she asks for an applause they both turn to watch. To dare them. But it doesn´t happen.

Instead, Peeta climbs up the steps after his name is called, with his little gray and gold furred monkey in tow, and the end begins.

\--

The goodbyes are horrible.

Her mother and Prim are the first to come, of course.

They hug tightly while Valerian covers Lykaios and Panax with his big gray wings and Katniss instructs them carefully. But there´s no time to weep. Lykaios takes one of the wings between his fang, not hurting, just holding. Warning.

"Listen to me. Are you listening to me? You can´t leave again."

Her mother looks down at the floor, muttering about how she couldn´t help it the first time.

Katniss snaps and shouts, and Valerian lets out and undignified cry, but she doesn´t budge.

"I needed medicine" says her mom.

"Then take it! And take care of her!"

They leave pretty soon after that, to her relief, and in comes Peeta´s father. His daemon is a fat, tired dog that doesn´t look up at her wolf until they finally promise to keep an eye out for Prim.

And then Madge.

Sweet, shy Madge that is all business except for her squirrel daemon that clings to Lykaios neck.

"Promise you´ll wear it into the arena, Katniss? Promise?"

"I promise." And off goes the girl that was indeed her friend after all.

When Gale comes, everything´s fine, even when nothing is.

Lykaios and Bendis crash against each other clawing and biting desperately as Gale _orders_ her to win. The Peacemakers don´t give them enough time.

"Don´t let them starve!"

"I won´t! You know I won´t! Katniss, remember I -"

She doesn´t know what she should remember, but Lykaios does and he wails long and sad even as the Peacemakers´ dogs push him back.

\--

Lykaios whines and snarls when the prep team gets rid of her body hair, too focused on her pain to mind the sparkly mouse daemon pulling knots off his tangled fur. All in all, it´s a blessing when they finally leave her alone.

"If I ever see them again, I´m going to rip them a new one." He grumbles, making Katniss smile. She hasn´t smiled since she left home.

"Don´t worry, I don´t think we will." She answers and makes _him_ smile. That´s how their humor is.

When Cinna comes in, her daemon huddles closer to her legs as if to shield her from the man´s eyes, and she tangles a hand in the fur behind his ears.

His daemon trails after him, a small fox with cunning eyes that evaluates Lykaios with as much detail as her human. She doesn´t speak until after their meal, when they´re finally discussing Katniss´ outfit.

"So rather than focus on the coal mining itself, we´re going to focus on the coal." Cinna says. "And what do we do with coal? We burn it."

Her impending naked tour across the Capitol hangs over her head, until the fox looks directly at her with her bright green eyes gleaming in mirth.

"You´re not afraid of fire, are you, Katniss?"

\--

She doesn´t notice at first.

Yes, she held Peeta´s hand at the tour. And yes, she told Haymitch she was fine with training alongside him. But it still gets on her nerves.

"I hate it." She snaps behind closed doors. "And I don´t get it. What´s the point of this? That people be heartbroken when such good friends have to murder each other?!" She punches her pillow as her daemon climbs on the bed with her.

"I don´t get it myself. And Promethea won´t tell me anything either." He confesses. "But you´re doing fine."

"He can barely make a decent trap. He´ll starve."

"He will."

"I won´t risk our necks for him."

"He should win if we don´t, though."

She glares at him because she thinks the same and he knows it, but she still hates it.

"He´s not that bad." He declares, sealing the matter for the night. "He shouldn´t have to die."

\--

Then the night of the interviews comes.

Cinna turns her into a phoenix, and even Lykaios gets sprinkled with a handful of red glitter that makes him sparkle when he moves.

They get on the stage with Caesar and play the amazed peasants. Everything goes according to plan. She speaks to Cinna and only Cinna, about everything.

Thankfully her time is cut short right after they start treading into Prim territory and she doesn´t make much of a mess.

And then it´s Peeta´s turn. His daemon perches on the back of the chair and Katniss zones out, leaving Lykaios with the task of listening for them both.

She focuses on time to hear Caesar questioning Peeta about his love interest, and, as he says those fatidic last words, his daemon looks straight at her, and Lykaios hides his face in the fabric of her dress.

\--

She paces across one end of the room while her daemon does the same at the other.

"What?!" She snaps first. She always does.

"You practically _killed_ him." He roars, furious.

"He had no right! Besides, someone´s going to kill him either way!"

"You´re an idiot!"

She stares at him, eyes wide with rage and surprise because in their whole lives they had never had so much as an argument. They´ve always known what was right and what they had to do, and whenever she doubted he was there to support her.

They go to sleep on different sides of the room, without another word.

\--

She tries to be angry at him, but it doesn´t last. Not much, at least.

His form is an advantage in the games; his hunter senses help her find food and he´s a good ally in case of a fight.

He stays at ground level when she climbs to sleep, never further than when they hunt. When the careers come the first time, he becomes a shadow under some bushes, and they don´t notice them.

But she sees Peeta and he sees too, and when they set on the move again he seems a bit sadder.

\--

At last, she´s the one to break.

The fire is tall and hot around her and she smells burning fur and she knows they won´t make it, nothing matters anymore.

She jumps into the pond and hugs him, but just as she´s about to speak the careers are upon them.

The choice is made without the slightest hesitation.

When the careers surround the tree, they freeze and gasp, but she has no time for them because she _has_ to climb and she´s _hurting_ so much.

"Where´s her daemon?!" Glimmer shrieks at Peeta.

"I don´t know! He should be here!" And when he looks up at her, she sees _fear_ in his eyes.

Cato tries to follow her with his white tiger climbing at his side, but he breaks the branch and pulls his daemon down with him. Katniss laughs through her pain because they´re weak. They can´t do what they did.

They´re not survivors.

\--

Rue is there when they reunite, but they don´t care.

They hug and Lykaios holds her wrist between his teeth and she buries her hand in his fur so tight it has to hurt, but they don´t care. They´re together. They´re one.

\--

They cry their hearts out when they lose her, when her Aulos balls over her heart and changes for the last time. A little green-ish bird that emits a sad, agonic song. Then she´s gone, and they´re broken.

They don´t know it yet, but it´s the first peek they get at the rest of their lives.

\--

Peeta becomes a strain again after they track him down, but Katniss plays it smart this time and lets Lykaios alone when he chooses to spend his days nursing the scraggy monkey daemon.

"Cassia." Peeta says at some point, when he catches her staring.

"Sorry?"

He smiles, pained and maybe feverish. "Her name is Cassia."

Katniss stares blankly t him until it clicks in her mind. She´s heard the word before. Or rather read it.

"Isn´t that a kind of cinnamon?"

This time, it´s the monkey who speaks.

"Our parents weren´t very creative."

Katniss nods. "He´s Lyakios."

"He´s perfect for you." Peeta mutters.

She thinks about it. A wolf far from its pack, if there´s one at all. Wild. Aggressive. Katniss smiles bitterly.

"He is."

\--

They have to get the medicine. There´s no other way.

Katniss repeats this to herself as Peeta falls into a deep slumber by her hand. Cassia´s awake, though (it seems the sleep syrup just works on humans) sitting at his side. Staring. Always staring.

When they leave Katniss turns one last time, and she´s looking at her.

"You´ll be the death of us."

She wants to look away, to hide from the intensity of those golden eyes, but Lykaios growls menacingly and bares his fangs as he replies.

"Aren´t we all dead already?"

\--

The mutts are the absolute worst.

They reach the cornucopia just in time and a momentary truce is forged. The wolf-like beasts jump high, but not enough, and Katniss feels the adrenaline pumping through her veins.

Suddenly, Lykaios barks and Peeta´s gone, caught in Cato´s embrace. He wants to push him, he does, but Katniss has him at arrowpoint, and she can´t shoot because Cato´s tiger daemon has Cassia crushed under her huge paw, her claws digging into her skin. If her human falls, she´ll drag them all down. Lykaios is preparing to throw himself against her and try fighting Cassia off her grip, when it happens.

No one is expecting it. She thinks even the Capitol citizens gasp when they see it. Cato is so shocked he lets go of Peeta.

The Thresh-mutt can jump higher than all the others, and it´s the one to sink its drooling fangs in the tiger daemon´s back, dragging her down when gravity pulls it back.

"BELLONA" Cato cries and the daemon cries back, whether from the pain of the pull or the one inflicted on her Katniss will never know.

In the end, that does it. Cato tries to fight the pull even as the mutts tear at his daemon, but he slips and fall. Peeta crawls and covers Cassia, trying to drown the blood-freezing cries of the tortured tribute.

\--

She should shoot him. The thing is, she doesn´t want to. She doesn´t even make a move to retrieve the bow and the arrow Lykaios is blocking from her. And all the time, Cassia stares and stares.

And then she knows the answer.

She kneels to hug Lykaios one last time, and he licks her cheek, just in case. She offers the nightlock to the other.

_She knows what she´s doing._

They need to have their victor.

She counts to three, but no one stops them.

_She **thinks** she knows what she´s doing._

The berries slip past her lips.

_She´s an idiot._

"STOP!"

\--

She never thought she´d be this happy to see Haymitch, but she is. Promethea coils loosely around Lykaios´ neck, while he whispers in her ear.

"Nice job, sweetheart."

This time the prep team don´t have much work to do. As Cinna wraps her in a dress that turns her into light and makes her look like a pristine child she watches Octavia´s sparkly mouse and Flavius´ lap dog groom Lykaios´ fur until it´s smooth and shiny and he looks like a domestic dog. That´s when she starts suspecting.

\--

They´re on edge.

Peeta and Cassia are naturals, they charm the audience with their presence alone, but Katniss is sweating and Lykaios has to restrain himself from snarling. They have to be in love.

Lykaios gets a little more relaxed when Cassia sits on his back and treads her nimble fingers through his fur, but it´s not the case for Katniss. Even after Peeta kisses her the fear only dulls slightly. She feels exposed, because this is all a lie. She can cuddle with Peeta on the loveseat, and for whatever reason her daemon might feel comfortable enough with his, but she doesn´t love him. Hell, she doesn´t even know what she thinks about Peeta, let alone how she feels about him!

When President Snow comes out with the crown the wolf daemon spikes it´s carefully arranged fur because they _know_ he knows. His iconic snake daemon is draped around his shoulders. Katniss knows the only thing shielding her from a kiss from those lethal fangs is the audience, and so does the daemon. Her eyes tell her silently that no taboo would keep her from her neck if they were alone.

The ceremony is soon over thankfully. She starts counting days until she can go back home.

 _Home_.

\--

The train ride is a breather. At least until the very end.

They stop in the middle of nowhere, to fill the fuel tank, and everything breaks down.

Katniss wants to strangle her daemon because he keeps cowering and curling over himself like a pathetic lap dog. And all the while Cassia. Just. Stares.

Katniss knows she knew right from the start.

That she would disappoint them.

She hates her for being right.

\--

Lykaios has always been her only guardian.

If she finds it ironic that her soul´s the one to throw her into the hottest fire of her life, she doesn´t comment on it.

After all, he´s all she has.

Notes:

**Author's Note:**

> This might have two other parts to complete the series, it depends on whether you guys like it or not!


End file.
